Like It Was: How Our Memory Shapes Our Leadership
- Christopher McCormick
- 7 days ago
- 6 min read
“Trouble is, Charlie
That's what everyone does
Blames the way it is
On the way it was
On the way it never
Ever
Was”
-Like It Was, Stephen Sondheim
How does your past shape you? How do you keep your memories? How do your memories keep you? What is the story you tell yourself, good, bad, ugly, that may keep you stuck in the past? How does this impact who you are for yourself? Who you are as a leader? No matter who we are, stories shape and navigate who we become for ourselves and for others.
I attended the A.C.T. Theatre's production of A Streetcar Named Desire this past Saturday. Having seen various productions and studied my revered playwright, Tennessee Williams’ work, I was struck by this unique, actor-generated interpretation. In traditional theater, actors often come into a project after directors and designers have made most decisions. But what if we flipped that model? Imagine if we approached storytelling like a group of seasoned artists in a creative workshop—each contributing their unique perspective and expertise, collaboratively crafting a narrative that resonates deeply, rather than waiting for a script to be handed down.
This production sparked a new insight for me, highlighting how generative leadership can emerge when we break free from conventional approaches. It prompted me to consider how memory shapes our identities and influences how we show up in the world—both as individuals and as leaders. Our past experiences don’t just inform our present; they can also limit our vision for the future.
In A Streetcar Named Desire, memory serves as a haunting, psychological force that blurs the line between reality and the past. While Williams coined the term "memory play" for The Glass Menagerie, he employs similar techniques here, particularly through the character of Blanche DuBois, whose internal trauma manifests as external memories.
"The Haunting of Allan Grey"
The most profound memory in the play is that of Blanche's young husband, Allan Grey, whose suicide remains a sensory experience that invades her present.
The Varsouviana Polka: This haunting tune, which plays the night Allan died, serves as an auditory hallucination only Blanche (and we, the audience) can hear, signaling when her past is about to overwhelm her.
The Gunshot: The music abruptly stops when Blanche hears the mental gunshot that ended Allan's life, providing a chilling momentary relief from her torment.
Guilt as Driver: Her memories are steeped in guilt for the last words she spoke to him, “I saw! I know! You disgust me,” just before his tragic end.
What are the memories that continue to influence your present actions, much like Blanche's memories?
How do unresolved memories affect your ability to lead effectively?
Memory as "Magic" (Self-Deception)
Blanche employs memory to construct a "magic" version of herself, shielding her from a sordid reality.
Reinvention: She manipulates her history to cast herself as a virtuous Southern Belle, obscuring her past as a sex worker.
Selective Light: Her aversion to bright light symbolizes her aversion to truth; she prefers "dimmed" light, representing memory and illusion, over the "merciless glare" of reality.
In what ways do you find yourself reshaping your own memories to fit a narrative?
How do you balance the desire for self-preservation with the need for honesty in your leadership?
Collective and Cultural Memory
On a societal level, memory operates through symbols like Belle Reve (the plantation home Blanche and Stella grew up in), representing the decaying cultural memory of the Old South. Blanche lives in episodic memory, reliving emotional moments, while Stanley Kowalski operates in semantic memory, recalling facts to assert power—like citing the Napoleonic Code to challenge Blanche’s claims.
How do societal narratives impact your understanding of leadership and identity?
What cultural memories do you carry that influence your leadership approach?
As we navigate our leadership journeys, we often find ourselves caught in a tug-of-war between the memories we cherish and the realities we must confront. Like Blanche, we may cling to an idealized past—an image of how things should be—fearing that letting go could mean losing a part of ourselves. Yet, clinging to outdated structures constrict our growth and adaptability.
Reflecting on my own experiences, I recognized moments when I held on to the way things were, believing that tradition would guide me through uncertainty. But as circumstances shifted, I realized that my attachment to the past was like wearing a pair of shoes two sizes too small—tight and painful, yet familiar.
Accepting change required confronting an uncomfortable truth: the ideals that once shaped my leadership no longer fit. This discovery sparked personal growth, reshaping my perspective to see change not as a threat, but as a chance to evolve my story.
What outdated beliefs are you holding onto?
Do you see memories you may cling to that hinder your growth?
How can you reframe your relationship with the past to embrace the possibilities of the future?
The central theme of A Streetcar Named Desire is the destructive conflict between illusion and reality, illustrated by the clash between the delusional Blanche and the raw realism of Stanley. This exploration of unchecked desire leading to decline, madness, and tragedy prompts us to consider how our own memories shape our leadership.
Our identity is woven through our memories, forming a continuous narrative of who we are. We selectively reconstruct experiences to maintain a coherent self-image. When that connection is broken, as in dementia, individuals often feel unmoored, losing the narrative that defines their roles and values.
A leader's recollection of their past significantly impacts their growth and adaptability. Leaders with a malleable mindset recall specific events that shaped them, fostering continued development. In contrast, those relying on generalized self-descriptions may exhibit a fixed identity resistant to change.
Are your leadership beliefs flexible, or do they feel fixed based on past experiences?
How do your recollections of past successes or failures inform your current leadership style?
Effective leaders harness storytelling and shared memories to build group identity, reducing burnout and increasing loyalty. By reflecting on past triumphs and failures, leaders can identify cognitive biases that influence their current decision-making. Memory-focused coaching can also enhance self-awareness, helping leaders recognize how childhood experiences shape their interactions today.
How do you utilize storytelling to foster connection and identity within your team?
What past experiences do you reflect on to improve your decision-making process?
Reflecting on my own journey, I recall a pivotal moment during a crucial project at work. I was tasked with leading a team to transform our operations. Yet, as I stood at the helm, I found myself paralyzed by the weight of past failures.
Years earlier, I had spearheaded a similar project that unraveled spectacularly. I remember the feeling of standing in front of my team as I presented our ambitious plan, only to watch it dissolve into chaos. The blame game ensued, and I became a ghost in my own office, haunted by the echoes of harsh criticism and disappointment. That experience etched a deep scar in my leadership identity, making me wary of taking bold steps again.
As we approached the launch date of this new initiative, I hesitated to trust my instincts. I found myself second-guessing every decision, replaying the haunting memories of my previous failure in my mind. The fear of failure loomed larger than my vision for success, and I clung to the familiar comfort of inaction. In those moments, I became acutely aware of how my past was shaping my present, blurring my judgment and stifling my potential.
It was during a quiet evening, reflecting on the weight of this experience, that I realized the importance of vulnerability and authenticity in leadership. I decided to gather my team and share my fears openly. I confessed my previous mistakes, laying bare the insecurities that had taken root in my leadership. As I spoke, I could see the initial surprise in their eyes give way to empathy and understanding.
This act of vulnerability not only fostered a deeper connection with my team but also liberated me from the chains of my past. I learned that acknowledging our fears can create an environment where authenticity thrives. It allowed us to move forward together, embracing our collective strengths and learning from our shared experiences.
What vulnerable moments have shaped your understanding of leadership?
How can embracing vulnerability enhance your relationships with your team?
In a rapidly changing world, this lesson resonated profoundly: being a leader doesn’t mean having all the answers; it means having the courage to be real, to confront the shadows of our past, and to rise together in pursuit of a brighter future.
Today’s societal challenges can weigh heavily on our spirits, yet connection and understanding are more vital than ever. As Williams’ characters seek redemption and joy despite their struggles, we too must find ways to cultivate resilience and joy within ourselves and our teams.
In challenging times, where do you find the strength to cultivate joy and connection?
How can you create an environment that fosters resilience and understanding in your team?
Ultimately, embracing our memories fosters authentic leadership. Reflect on your own experiences and how they shape your leadership style. As we navigate the complexities of the future—especially with AI reshaping our narrative landscape—let’s remember that our human experiences are invaluable.
What stories from your past are you ready to embrace as part of your leadership journey?
How can you leverage your personal narrative to inspire and connect with others?
"Life is all memory, except for the one present moment that goes by you so quickly you hardly catch it going.”
-The Milk Train Doesn’t Stop Here Anymore, Tennessee Williams
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