Honoring Sacrifice Amidst Strife: A Veterans Day Reflection

As we approach Veterans Day, I’m reminded of the men and women who dedicated their lives to serving our country, including my father, Frank. He was more than a veteran; he was a fixer in our community - someone who used his skills to help those around him, much like the old oak tree in our backyard that stood tall and sturdy through the seasons, rooted deep, blowing with the winds of change in the spring and providing much needed shade when the heat of summer was at its height. Today, as we honor their sacrifices, we must also confront the disheartening reality of our nation.

Frank spent most of his life working in factories - but his true love was mechanics. I can still picture him in that grease-stained garage, surrounded by tools that sparkled like trophies from a lifetime of fixing everything from lawnmowers to old cars. The air was thick with the smell of oil and metal, a scent that always seemed to cling to him, a badge of honor for a man who spent his life tinkering and mending. One summer afternoon, when a neighbor’s car broke down, he didn’t hesitate to step in. Carol, a single mother struggling to make ends meet, looked defeated, the sweat dripping from her brow in the summer heat as she leaned against her car, her hopes fading with the engine’s silence. My father approached with his easy smile and playful banter, turning her despair into relief.

He taught me that leadership isn’t just about authority; it’s about being there for others in times of need. His knack for fixing things extended beyond mechanics. He was a pillar in our town, embodying the values of hard work, compassion, and community.

My dad fought in the Vietnam War, a conflict that carried immense controversy and division. When soldiers returned home, they weren’t always celebrated; instead, many faced scorn and indifference, often linked to figures like Jane Fonda, who was an outspoken advocate against the war. In our house, "Hanoi Jane" was a name spoken with bitterness, a reminder of the anger and pain surrounding that era. When the movie “9 to 5” came out, my mom had to sneak us to the theatre to see it and never, ever mention it to my dad. She knew it would have upset him, and she also knew seeing powerful women re-shape the male dominated world of working women was a message we needed to learn early on.

However, as time passed, my father began to see the complexities of the situation. Years later, I found myself becoming a friend and advocate with Jane Fonda, engaging with her work to protect the environment. This connection sparked a shift in my dad’s perspective. He recognized that Jane was fighting for peace and justice, striving to give a voice to those who suffered because of war. “She’s right about the environment. She was right about a lot of things, even years ago.” My father’s ability to look beyond the bitterness of the past and embrace this new understanding reflected the true spirit of a veteran - one who sought to heal rather than harbor resentment. As we celebrate Veterans Day, I reflect on how these values connect to the sacrifices made by veterans like my father.

However, I can’t help but feel a sense of frustration and anger at the state of our country today. The weaponization of government agencies against our own citizens is a direct affront to the principles my dad and countless others fought for. The Department of Defense has become the Department of War, not just against foreign adversaries but against our own people. The ideals of freedom and democracy seem increasingly threatened, and it’s disheartening to witness our democracy being eroded. My father was honored for being a marksman with a rifle during a war. I would later honor him as a marksman with his tongue. Speaking out against the “weak, swindling, lying, cheating, narcissistic, piece of shit titty baby” who lied and cheated his way into the White House. He knew a grifter when he saw one. My hope is that his ability to look beyond a headline and search for the real truth, to seek to understand what really matters, is something we all can embrace as we navigate the journey that lies ahead.

On this Veterans Day, it’s essential to honor the service of those who fought for our freedoms while also acknowledging the challenges we face as a nation. Frank believed in the promise of America; he fought for a country that represented hope and opportunity for ALL. We owe it to him and to all veterans to strive for a nation that lives up to those ideals.

As we reflect on the sacrifices made by our veterans, let’s also recognize the responsibility we share in upholding the values they fought for. How are we advocating for justice, equality, and a government that truly serves its people rather than oppresses them? How are we showing up to lend our voices to those who need us now more than ever? This Veterans Day, let us honor their legacy by committing to a future where compassion, community, and democracy thrive.

As Mark Twain and my father both said, “Put up or shut up!"

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